September 28, 2014
Dear baby,
I hope you’re doing okay in there. Â The doctor is scaring me so badly. Â He claims he is 99.9% sure you’re not going to make it, but I hope and pray that he is wrong. Â I am trying to remain positive, but it is so hard. Â I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to feel. Â I feel so lost and like the life has been sucked out of me since he told me my results. Â I definitely don’t want to believe him. Â After reading different things online I hope that I have been misdiagnosed and I will see your beating heart and hear it soon. Â I am so excited to meet you!
Your sister is super excited to meet you. Â She’s hoping that you’re a boy, but she will be happy with a sister too. Â She reads “The Best-Ever Big Sister” book that we gave her every single day and she can’t even read hehe. Â She looks at the pictures to help her remember what the book is about. Â She pretty much has memorized the entire book from front to back. Â She is so cute. Â I’m so glad she is just as excited as we are.
Your daddy is so strong. Â He really is an amazing father. Â He has been here by my side and tries to make sure that I’m not stressing. Â Your daddy is hurting like me, but he is trying not to let it show. Â It’s hurting him that I hurt and he hates to see me cry. Â Â He is so positive throughout it all and he believes that you will be just fine. Â We both feel like it is too early in the pregnancy to be 99.9 percent sure what is going to happen to you especially since I am no longer spotting at all the entire week and the doctor should have never said that.
This whole situation makes me realize how much in love with you I am already. Â I feel attached and connected with you and it would really hurt if I lose you. Â I am constantly worrying about you and constantly praying that you are okay every single day. Â The doctor is so sure about you leaving me, but he isn’t God. Â God has the final say so and if God wants you here with me right now, I know that you will be. Â If God has another plan for me…then so be it, but I will still be devastated and I will definitely miss you so. Â I hope to see you soon little one.
Love, Mommy

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Tried leaving a comment earlier but it didn’t go through. Sending you, baby, and family my thoughts. 6 weeks is still really early to tell so I hope it’s also a misdiagnosis. I hope time speeds up just a little bit for you even though it may seem impossible, I know waiting and waiting is so hard. Hoping for the best!
Aw, thank you so much! It was a misdiagnosis 🙂 I have seen the baby TWICE on ultrasound since then with a strong heartbeat of 128 and then 169. Baby was wiggling around on the screen and everything the last time I had an ultrasound.
Praying that your little bean sticks <3 good luck and happy thoughts!
Thank you so much! So far so good 🙂