Letters to Baby: Week 6

September 28, 2014

Dear baby,

I hope you’re doing okay in there.  The doctor is scaring me so badly.  He claims he is 99.9% sure you’re not going to make it, but I hope and pray that he is wrong.  I am trying to remain positive, but it is so hard.  I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to feel.  I feel so lost and like the life has been sucked out of me since he told me my results.  I definitely don’t want to believe him.  After reading different things online I hope that I have been misdiagnosed and I will see your beating heart and hear it soon.  I am so excited to meet you!

Your sister is super excited to meet you.  She’s hoping that you’re a boy, but she will be happy with a sister too.  She reads “The Best-Ever Big Sister” book that we gave her every single day and she can’t even read hehe.  She looks at the pictures to help her remember what the book is about.  She pretty much has memorized the entire book from front to back.  She is so cute.  I’m so glad she is just as excited as we are.

Your daddy is so strong.  He really is an amazing father.  He has been here by my side and tries to make sure that I’m not stressing.  Your daddy is hurting like me, but he is trying not to let it show.  It’s hurting him that I hurt and he hates to see me cry.    He is so positive throughout it all and he believes that you will be just fine.  We both feel like it is too early in the pregnancy to be 99.9 percent sure what is going to happen to you especially since I am no longer spotting at all the entire week and the doctor should have never said that.

This whole situation makes me realize how much in love with you I am already.  I feel attached and connected with you and it would really hurt if I lose you.  I am constantly worrying about you and constantly praying that you are okay every single day.  The doctor is so sure about you leaving me, but he isn’t God.  God has the final say so and if God wants you here with me right now, I know that you will be.  If God has another plan for me…then so be it, but I will still be devastated and I will definitely miss you so.  I hope to see you soon little one.

Love, Mommy

Click HERE to view the full pregnancy prayer.